Why can’t you just listen?
Summer vacation is almost over and I hope you had the chance to relax and maybe even travel?
As usual I was sitting in front of my computer thinking:
“Ok, what the heck will I write about in my newsletter…..”, feeling frustrated as I don’t want to miss writing these newsletters on a regular basis.
I decided to let it be, closed the computer and went off for a walk.
And as always the universe provided me with content that evening.
I had a conversation with a dear friend that night to whom I hadn’t talked for a while beside “Hello, everything ok?”
She’s having a rough time at the moment and as we started to talk her tears flew and since we were talking over the internet I couldn’t hug her…….
Anyway, she told me what was going on in her life and I listened knowing that what she needs right now is an open ear……
As she went on I suddenly felt the urge to say something about how this would be a recurring pattern in her life……
Instantly,as the words left my lips I could feel a constriction in my belly or even a split second beforehand and immediately I knew I shouldn’t have said that……
Later in the conversation she told me that she really doesn’t need anyone trying to fix or help her understand what’s going on in her life, at the moment.
The only thing she needs is people listening without judgement, without trying to help, without offering any kind of therapy.
Since we have a wonderful friendship built on trust that I am so grateful for she could tell me what bothered her.
It reminded me of times when I felt shitty and when telling my husband about how I was feeling he always tried to explain why I felt that way or coming up with solutions etc.
And all I needed was someone to listen and be there…….
So I know that feeling very well. I also know that men are “programmed” to be “problem solvers” and I know he meant best.
I often notice that as a practitioner I do the same: I feel the need to help……”the helper syndrome”, which is very common in our profession.
Anyway my dear friend knew where I was coming from and I learnt a very important lesson that moment.
What also amazed me that there was a warning sign coming from my body (gut feeling) that I noticed but didn’t listen to……
I know that through practising TRE™ these signs are becoming more and more obvious and now all I need to do is honour them.
I wonder if you went through a similar situation where you felt right away that you shouldn’t have said something but still did?
And do you know what I am talking about when I say “Men feel, they have to fix every situation”?
I would love to hear about your experiences and how you cope with them.
TRE & MORE
I will start a new group in November for people suffering from back pain. It will be a small group and 6 weekly sessions, 11/2 hour each. If you are interested please contact me: email@example.com
My trainer Anya Bloom is starting a group on 4th September in
Tel Aviv, 4 weekly sessions.
Also she’ll start a certification training on 21st September. For more info: firstname.lastname@example.org
Provider of TRE & more
Adi Assodri has been helping people release negative emotions, stress and trauma for over 20 years.
She has attended workshops in Europe and Israel to study with the best trainers available.
Through her expertise, experience, and years of studying numerous self-help techniques, Adi has developed her own unique approach to healing the body/mind.
She has also worked with elementary school children teaching them how to let go of negative emotions, and become more centered and joyful.